The Holy Theomachist

So… I have not written for a couple of years.  I had been faithfully blogging my way thru The Book of Job in the Bible.  And for all of you who know your Bible will know that I stopped blogging at the most crucial juncture point of Job.  I ended with Job’s final speech…and stopped before I let God have His say.  I have read and re-read these passages of Scripture that lay out God’s response to all that Job and his friends have declared and accused of Him.  I have been stalled from writing further and I am not sure why.  I have a deep desire to finish the story because…spoiler alert…Job is vindicated by God.  But every time I have sat down to write, something stays my hand and my thoughts.  I believe it is because I needed time to grow into this part of the Book of Job.

Truth be told, I am still not mature enough to finish it…but I wanted to assure everyone…I will be finishing this engagement with Job.  But God has been doing some growing and stretching in my life and I am not ready yet to finish Job.

With that said, I have been feeling called to start writing about my musings and questions about life, faith and God.  So, I am creating a new blog called Theomachy and Reverie.  I will finish this adventure with Job…but I need more time to grow up. For now…here is the link to my new blog: http://theomachology.wordpress.com

May It Please The Courts–Job’s Closing Arguments

So, I realize this has been a very long time coming…my apologies.  I have hit a wall in my life…feeling discouraged and tired…not feeling inspired…and it has been tempting to give up on finishing this journey.  But, if I gave up now…we would end at the point of despair…and we wouldn’t see what happens in the end with our dear friend, Job….and that prospect is just plain gloomy!  So…I decided to pull up my socks and jump back in the story with Job and his “Friends”.

When last we chatted, Job’s friend, Bildad,  had ripped Job a new one…basically equating Job with a maggot.  I have found myself this time around,  not focusing merely on one chapter but on the following 6 chapters which all contain Job’s final defense and speech.   As far as I can tell, this is the last time we really hear from Job. 

After reading this section of Job, I now have a vision of the Book of Job as a court case.  There is a silent but present Judge—God.  There are Accusers and Prosecutors—sadly, Job’s friends who ought to have been his Defenders.  And we have our weak and feeble Defendant, Job…and he has realized it is up to him to defend himself since his friends, his wife and even God seem determined to leave him to his own defense. 

I have always been a sucker for a good court case drama…I love the preparation of arguments…I love watching the trial unfold…and I am always enthralled as I watch the closing arguments from both the Prosecutor and the Defense.  The closing arguments are the last time the lawyers arguing the case have a chance to convince the jury or the judge of their case.  It is always full of dramatics and oratorical flourish and brilliance…closing arguments, at least in the movies, are full of passion and zeal.

I realized that what follows in chapters 26-31, this is Job’s closing argument.  I got such a sense that he is physically, emotionally and mentally at the end…and he is giving his final defense…and then he is done talking.  He has nothing to lose….and nothing left…he leaves it all on the playing field.

If this was a movie court room drama…I could picture the gallery of people observing the trial sitting on the edge of their seats.  What they don’t know is that Job’s defense is really their defense too…for the suffering of innocents is something with which we must all contend at some point in our lives. 

The judge is clouded and obscure…not an identified played in this drama yet. 

The Prosecutors…the feckless bullies sit on their side of the courtroom taking notes…tsking in judgment as Job orates his rage and his defense…occasionally they derisively snort in response to a comment that Job makes.

And there is our protagonist, our Job barely able to stand…broken physically and emotionally, mustering up his last reserves of strength to declare his innocence and fight for his defense.  Here is Job’s closing argument: 

So basically Job’s final speech, contained in chapters 26-31, has 5 distinct sections.

Section #1:  Creation:  The Cacophony of God’s Whisper

Job responds to his friends by basically saying, “Thanks for your incredible insight into God’s character—NOT!  You think you can speak for God?  God is the Creator…His power is immense…He makes the thunder shake the ground….He controls the seas…and this rumbling and roiling creation is just a whisper of His power.  What would we do if He ever really unleashed His power?”

That thought…that all the crazy power that is evident in creation is just a mere whisper of God’s power.  Man…that is a scary thought!  I thought of the Tsunamis and hurricanes…of the Earth quake in Haiti…the devastation of creation is just a finger flick of God.  Wow…if that is the cacophony of His whispers, what must his speaking voice sound like? 

Again, I get the image of Aslan from The Chronicles in my mind.  We think we can control this God of ours…and His power is far beyond what we can even imagine.  It does make me think twice about speaking for God.  I wonder if it made Job’s friends stop and question whether they wanted to continue to boldly speak for God?  I doubt it…but it sure has made me stop and question whether I want to do so in the future.  It does make me realize, I want to make sure that I am speaking only when the Holy Spirit compels me to do so!

Section #2: God Has Ruined Me!

In all good court room dramas, the defense attorney always presents the last minute real culprit in dramatic fashion.  Like in a great Scooby Doo episode…the “ghost” is always Mr. Jones, the grumpy carnival manager!  Job basically pulls the same dramatic flourish in this section.  And the culprit under the mask is revealed to be….duh duh duhn!!!!!  GOD?!

In verse one of chapter 27, Job points the finger directly at God.  He says that it is God Almighty who has both ruined his life and then denied him justice!  I can imagine the crowd in the court room pulling back in shock and letting out a communal gasp…of outrage…of surprise…of reluctant accepting pain.

Job declares right until the bitter end, he will not lie to absolve God….he will only speak the truth until the end…and Job believes that God is ultimately responsible for his situation.  Job also does not feel it is just or deserved.  Job asks for a hearing with his true Accuser, whom he believes to be God. He begs for someone to show him his error…he invites scrutiny and investigation…and it appears the only One worthy of that scrutiny and observation has chosen not to present His findings up until this point….enter foreshadowing scary music here! 

So, Job, declares…he will cling to the integrity of his character…he resolutely declares himself to be NOT GUILTY of any charges that would bring such horrific consequences. 

Section #3:  What is Wisdom and Where can Wisdom be found?

This section of Job’s closing argument, I have to admit, confused me.  I had a hard time understanding why, in the middle of his final statements, he wants to take time to have a philosophical discussion about the nature and residence of wisdom.  As I thought about it, I wondered if he is trying to maintain that he still has his faith…he still realizes that the only path to wisdom and salvation lies with God…that the only way to navigate thru the philosophical waters of the deep with God is to realize that at the end of all things…true knowledge and wisdom are only found when one surrenders to the inevitability of the Fear of God.  Once we surrender to the reality of the vastness and immensity of God’s power and character, we see ourselves in our truest light…in comparison with God…and the proper response is reverent fear and awe.

We don’t like to talk about fear of God in our comfy church culture.  We like our Santa God images.   We give mere lip service to the Lion if Judah images.  We rationalize and explain away what “Fear of God” means.  Dude!  The Guy can flick a finger and a hurricane is wrought…to pretend that we shouldn’t have a healthy respect and fear for THAT Guy is just plain foolishness!

When I looked at it in that context, I realized that Job was probably trying to refute the so called “Wise” testimony of his friends.  Their arguments show no wisdom because they do not take into account that true wisdom finds its birth place in an acknowledgment of the Fear of God.   Job is showing that his friends’ counsel was deeply out of place and negligent because they waved around a loaded gun when they tried to defend God…they showed how foolish they were with their total lack of a fear of God.

Job concludes that Wisdom is found only with God…that as smart and advanced as humanity becomes, we will only be able to mine the fragments of wisdom that God has placed in the world.  We cannot find the source of true Wisdom outside of the fear of God.

Section #4:  Job’s Lament

In this section…found in chapters 29 and 30, Job makes his plea to the jury of the Gallery and to the judge with a tale of what he has lost.  And it is a good reminder at this point in the story….let us remember what has Job lost:

Job lost all of his children…ALL his beloved children were horrifically wiped out in one traumatic accident.  And don’t turn your heart and mind off…think about that!  I have observed the face of a man who lost almost all of his family…a wife and two daughters in one horrific accident.  That Job has it in him to even fight, is quite a testament to the inner fortitude of Job.  I cannot imagine losing one child…never mind all of your kids at once.

But…it didn’t end there…let me remind you and re-engage you with his horror…Job also had his entire empire wiped out…he is destitute and homeless.

And….he was then struck with a painful illness that marred his physical appearance and made him someone who people winced and gagged to look at.

And then his wife cursed him and left him to weather his trauma alone.

Job realizes at this point in his final arguments…he needs to remind the Judge and the Jury of the great heights from which he has fallen.

His words break my heart…there is such wistfulness in his words…”Oh how I long for the days when God took care of me…when God was my friend….”  So very sad.  Not only has the man lost everything…he now feels he has lost his friend, God.  I am not sure there is a pain that is worse than that feeling.

It reminds me of a story I heard about a former evangelist who walked away from his faith.  He was interviewed later in life, actually only weeks before he eventually passed away and  was asked if he had regrets about his decision.  The writer describes that this very sad and wistful expression came over his face and he said, “I sure do miss Jesus.”  And I remember to this day, years after reading of this account, I remember that deep pain that filled my heart at his words. 

It also reminds me of Mother Theresa…who I have mentioned already in my blog.  I am reading a book that contains her letters to her spiritual mentors…and they reveal a woman who once she got her Calcutta ministry up and running, never again felt the presence or love of God…she felt cut off from Him…and yet continued to love and serve Him because she felt like this was her call from Him…to continue even though she would never feel Him again.  And the book is so painful to me…that I have had to read it in small sections because it makes me weep.

I know that God is good…and I know that He is love.  We have to always rest on that foundation when exploring these topics or our world just tumbles away from us.  But I also know that He remains silent and obscure sometimes…and there are reasons…and these seasons in my life have always brought a harvest of much fruit.  But I know what it feels like to feel lonely for God.  I know what that pain feels like when you look back to previous exalted seasons in your life when the path was clear and you felt the deep and reassuring presence of your God.  The remembrances are deeply painful…because you can feel every bruise and break from your fall from that season to the current pit.

I remember when God called me away from my position at the church as a youth worker.  God called me out to the frontier…and away from the security of the people I knew and loved.  I loved my job at the church…and I loved my co-workers and the community that existed in that place.  It was like a death to me…it was incredibly painful to leave.  I remember my last day in my office…it was a Friday…a day when most of the staff had off…and it was just me left in the building.  I walked out of the building that day, all alone…uncertain of what was awaiting me…and the pressure of that sense of loneliness was profound and deep…I could barely breathe.  I wept the whole way home…I am not sure to this day how I got home safely!  Sheesh!  Talk about distracted driving….Driving while under the influence of grief!  In the weeks that followed, I realized what you lose when you walk away from a position of influence and where you are known…I learned the hard way about the gift of obscurity!  I went from one week having my phone ring and my email fill every day with my own sense of importance…to being quiet, and forgotten…I was not important any more.  Sounds silly…but I realized how much of my self-worth I had tied up with the role I played…not in my inherent worth as a human and as a child of God.  The pain of the realization of my own insignificance was so deep and breath taking…but I thank God every day He gave me the gift of obscurity. 

I wonder if Job would look back in later years and thank God for that gift too.  It is a gift to be recalibrated to your place in light of God…that grace of humility is so deeply restorative…once you learn to lean into the pain and surrender your ego and agenda.

All that to say…Job is wistfully considering and remember the heights from whence he fell and I am sure his wistful bitter sweet memories tugged at heart strings…it is hard not to feel compassion for such a man.

Section #5:  I rest my case!

Job’s final plea is a demand more than a plea.  He asks to speak directly to His accuser.  He demands that someone show him where he has erred.  He demands that the evidence of his failure and guilt be shown to him.

He proclaims that he will not stop pleading his innocence until someone shows him how he deserves this pain. 

There is something very noble and inspiring about a man who will elegantly and emphatically stand by his integrity until the very end.

Job is done talking.  There is nothing more he can say.  Until the last breath of speech, he maintains his innocence before God. 

He rests his case and with that…I believe shows an incredible faith in the goodness of God despite all appearances of the opposite.  I believe he stops talking because at the end of the day, I believe Job knew in his core that God is good…and He would be Job’s Redeemer.  Now all that was left was waiting for the Judge and Deliverer to make His decisions and final moves.

Commentator’s Evaluation:

So….I find that I am at the end of Job’s active engagement in this amazing Book.  What do I think about Job?  I think I have a new friend…that’s what I think.  I think we should all be grateful to Job…that all Believers should be thankful for this man’s grotesque but genuine journey of faith.

I have learned so much from Job.  I have learned what a challenged, nuanced and complex friendship with God looks like…and it isn’t neat and tidy….it is grotesque and lovely all at the same time. I have learned that neat and tidy are not hallmarks of faith…messy, complex and complicated are necessary by products of faith in a broken world.

I have learned that it is okay to engage God…I have learned how to be bold…I have learned that boldness with God is dependent on integrity and purity of life and heart.  I have learned that even when everything and everyone is destroyed and taken from you…you can still breathe and have your being….you can still fight your cause and you can still retain your integrity…you can still stand.  And in this upcoming season for me…that is important for me to know.  And I am deeply grateful that God loved me enough to call me on this journey months ago…to prepare me for the adventure of this season. 

Job, my Friend…can’t wait to meet you!!

The Redeemed Maggot

This entry is all about Job chapter 25.  In this chapter…very short chapter, only 6 verses in total…Bildad responds to Job.  Basically this is the summation of Bill: “Um, Job, Buddy…who the hell do you think you are?  Who is man that he should confront God…say such crazy things to God?  God made the universe and the angels…and there are flaws even in that miraculous creation.  So, when it comes to mere mortals…you are nothing but a maggot!”

Again, I am deeply surprised that Job wasn’t all warmed and comforted by that response from Bill!  Honestly…these friends of Job need to attend a Dale Carnegie seminar or two!!  Hmm…but somehow I think Dale would be with them in encouraging Job to get a different attitude about his life circumstances…let’s just chant and sing and cathartically Kumbaya our way to a new attitude!  But I digress…

So here is my thought for this chapter:

Thought of the Week:  The Tightrope Walk Between Maggot and Divine

So, as I have been pondering this chapter, I have been asking myself the same question that Bill puts out there…who is man that we should think we can approach or reproach God, as the case may be?

I have realized there is a tightrope of tension that we have to walk in any real and authentic relationship with God.  I think there are two extremes on either end…Bill showing a wanton disregard for manners and kindness heads straight over to the Maggot pole.  Historically, lots of theologians have also ended up in that neck of the woods.  Bill and his Maggoty cohorts believe we are so beneath God’s notice that we are actually repugnant to God…maggots that have infested a creation that was supposed to be sublime. 

Then, in response to the horror and the eventual mental breakdown at thinking of oneself as a maggot, Reactionaries to the Maggot theology have walked over to the opposite end of the spectrum and believe that we are the pinnacle of all creation…that we are in fact, divine ourselves.  We are the shiz and ain’t nothing better…not even God…except actually, we are in fact gods ourselves.

There you go…there are the two poles of extreme thought about our position and our worth.  And both are deeply flawed…and yet have kernels of truth ,all at the same time.  How’s that for clearing it up?!

I have been thinking a lot about where the truth lies.  Because if I am honest…there are pockets of my life that are pretty maggoty.  And, again, if I am honest, there are other pockets of my life that are pretty rad…holy and pleasing to God…where I am sure of my  value and worth in the Big Guy’s eyes.

So, where does the truth keep its tense grip on reality?  I believe the truth refuses to accept that we have to choose between these options.  I think maybe we are venturing into the beautiful domain of grace, mercy and redemption.  I think the truth is actually found in the process of sanctification. 

To demonstrate what I mean…I am going to use my life as an example….mostly because, I only truly know my story.  And I flatter myself with thinking I even know my story fully.  But here we go!!

The Maggoty Truth of Lisa Dawn-Marie Congo:

Lisa Congo was born a complicated and complex little girl.  She never looked at life like other people around her…she was confused, overwhelmed and perplexed by most of what she observed thru out most of her life, exhausting her parents and all the adults in her life with a million questions.  So, as she didn’t have words to articulate her reality, she did what any maggoty little verminy human is wont to do…she reacted.  And whenever she felt overwhelmed by the emotions that her complex little self created, she lashed out…even when good things happened to her…she couldn’t handle the depth of her feelings…so she lost her ever living mind.  No child has had as hard a time keep a rein on her horses as Little Lisa.  To be perfectly frank, to this day my default mode is FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!  Maggoty Little Lisa heard lots of commentary on her behaviour…her actions…and ultimately what others thought her character to be….and very little of it was flattering, edifying or encouraging.  Now, let me be clear, my parents and the other adults in my life were good people who loved me…but I was…um…well…grotesquely maggoty!

These commentaries were not just things her family communicated…she began to tune into a much more merciless voice…the voice of the Maggot Maker…and he was very good at taking small comments and transforming them into heart shattering curses. These curses stooped small shoulders and gave a framework and context for how Lisa would eventually view herself.  She allowed her maggoty guts to be renamed…and in her soul, she was re-named…”Complicated”, “High Maintenance”,  “A Burden”, “Too Much ”, “Too Loud”, “Obnoxious”, “Overbearing”,  “A Bull in a China Shop”, “Second Best”, “Exhausting” and my personal favourite, “Little Bitch”.

The De-Maggotification of Lisa Congo:

You want to know why I am a Christ follower?  Well, it ain’t because I feel like I resemble much of what I see in Christianity…and it sure isn’t because I understand or lovingly embrace all the theology…it is because The Great Redeemer met me and gave me a chance to reframe my story.  I got a chance to have the Great Story Weaver work His threads of mercy and grace thru out my story…and I was demaggotified.

Here’s the truth…the curses that the Maggot Maker spoke over my heart and soul…they were not lies entirely.  That is why they had such sticking power.  They had the truth in them…I was utterly maggoty…but these curses left out a very important part of my story…they left out Potential.  Potential is like a magic elixir in old fairy tales.  Potential exists even in the darkest heart…even the most depraved and gross place, Potential’s heart keeps beating…and what is the heart song of Potential?  Redemption!! Potential is that vision of what your maggoty self could be, if you were to intersect with Redemptive Power!

The actual story of my De-Maggotification is great…but it is also long, and I am sure, entirely snore inducing to any but the most faithful of friends.  Suffice it to say…there was an intersection at the bone and marrow…at the soul and spirit level of Lisa Congo, between who she was…and who she had the potential to be with Redemption.  That intersection was found at the corner of Jesus Christ and Repentence.

Much to my dismay…this de-maggoting didn’t happen over-night.  It wasn’t instantaneous.  It actually is still happening  to this very day.   What I have come to terms with, is that this process of de-maggoting is a paradox.  The reality is, at the intersection of Christ and Repentance…I was completely demaggotified entirely.  So why do I often so clearly resemble my former Maggoty self?  Because the De-Maggotification is also a process…and some days it is two steps forward…and other days, it is a step back.

The Current Truth of Lisa Congo

It has been a long process of letting the Great Redeemer and Weaver work His art in my life.  But I am slowly coming to a place where I can see His Redemptive work in my life.  I can see that “Complicated” has been renamed, “ Nuanced and Detailed”.  I can see that “High Maintenance” is still High Maintenance…because I am a girl and I get to be high maintenance, dang it!  I see that “Burden” has become “Blessing”.  I can see that “Too Much ” has been re-crafted into “Generous”.  I can see “Obnoxious, Too Loud and Bull in China Shop” has been miraculously re-defined as “Relentlessly committed to battling the fights worth fighting!”  I have observed, “Second Best” be re-drawn into “Beloved Daughter”.   I have enjoyed watching “Exhausting” remain the same…I can’t help it…I exhaust even myself!  And I have enjoyed watching “Bitch” be cut out entirely.  The Wicked Bitch of the West…she is gone, Friends…and isn’t the world a better place because of it?!

So…Maggot to Divine?

What is end result of this Divine Redemptive Weaving?  It doesn’t end with me being divine myself.  It ends with me being a lovely and acceptable vessel for the Holy Spirit.  I don’t end up God…God ends up living in and thru me.  My De-Maggotfication only allows people to see a clear and accurate reflection of Christ. 

You what is the craziest part of this De-Maggotification?  People can still see the scars of my maggoty former self…and they see the Redemptive art work of my life…and it shines a light on their Redemptive Potential…they begin to hear Potential’s heart-song.

Final Comments on Job 25:

You know what is most sad about Bill’s speech to Job?  Bill is revealing how blind he is to his maggoty-self.  Every time he focuses his attention on Job’s maggoty place, Bill becomes more deafened to his Potential Heart Song.

And the end of it all…God sees our maggoty existence…and He decided that it wasn’t His plan to leave us in our maggoty form.  He created a process of Redemption to deal with the situation.  And what is one of the most amazing gifts of this process, besides being a reflection of Christ?  We get to approach God and we get to reproach God…and He weaves His threads of grace and mercy while we are engaging Him.  Who is man that he would confront God?  We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.  In my opinion, that doesn’t sound the least bit maggoty!!!

PS  My good friend Harv writes an amazing blog and he referenced our good friend, Job this week!  Here is a link to his blog…check it out! 

http://nomadicleader.blogspot.com/2012/02/when-leaders-are-lost.html

Dear Church…

So…all along this journey, I’ve had real life examples to turn to…real life Jobs who I know…to compare my thoughts and reactions against the reality of their journeys.  Job has never been a trite analogy for me.  His story is very visceral and real to me…always has been.  But I have a much closer real life example now.  One of my dearest friends has been diagnosed with a cancer that has odds of 1 %.  She has a 5 year old son and a little girl who just turned 3.  We just found out over Christmas.  So, I am little raw…and this topic has again slammed back into the realm of relevant and incredibly important to my walk with God.

I am supposed to be talking about Job chapter 24 this blog.  And I apologize for not getting to it sooner…but life has called me away from the blogsphere…but during this whole time, at night when I have been praying and trying to wrap my brain around what has been happening lately, I’ve been reading and re-reading Job 24…and in all this time…I have little profound insights.

In Job 24 Job is in the middle of a wail against the apparent absence of God in the face of human suffering…particularly at the hands of the Wicked who continue to flourish and live long lives.  He asks, in chapter 24, why God doesn’t set a time for judging the wicked and evil people.  He asks, I think God, why good people must just sit in their misery…cold, hungry…poor and forgotten…dying and wretchedly alone…waiting in vain for justice to be served?

You know…all I could focus on was the first verse of chapter 24: ““Why does the Almighty not set times for judgment? Why must those who know him look in vain for such days?”  While I understand Job’s heart…I think it is pretty clear that God has set a time for judgment.  It just often doesn’t happen in time for us to see it here on Earth.

Job is asking for the first time a question that actually has an answer.  God has set a time for judgment….it just isn’t fast enough, often, to benefit the poor…the needy…the broken and forgotten.  But again….I think we need to be careful to give the eschatological answer to an immediate question.

Job’s real point is….where is God?  Why does He not step in and mete out immediate justice for the most vulnerable and invisible in our world?  I’ve been thinking about that…and I frankly, I have no more answers to that question than when I started this journey.  However, I do have one thought.

Thought of the week:  What if YOU are what God is waiting for?

I always wonder what is keeping God from dropping down into each situation of injustice…especially those situations involving the most vulnerable and the ones who cannot protect themselves…where is God?  Job’s question resonates with me profoundly.  But you know what I am beginning to think?

I wonder if God has already provided the solution to addressing the immediate justice issues…and that solution is me…and you.  The big and grand issue of bringing justice…that is always going to be God’s deal…and actually…He’s already done it.  But in the mean time…as we venture towards His Kingdom Come…there are many cruel and infinitely unique injustices served around the world.  Perhaps a part of the question of where is God should be asked better as Where are you?  and Where am I? Where is the Body of Christ, the Church when injustice needs to be addressed?

Here is the sermon I would preach to my church if I ever got the chance…so….I will probably never get the chance cause who wants to listen to a harpie harangue them on a Sunday morning?  ha!

In answer to the question…Where is the church when injustice is happening?

We are sitting in a drive thru, waiting to pay $5 for a coffee while children starve.  We are playing with our own children in the comfort of warmth with so many toys they could never play with them all while children scrounge among the garbage dumps of India for food and sellable goods.  We are enjoying the purity of our marriages and relationships while girls as young as 8 years old are routinely raped in brothels.

Here’s the deal…I am talking to myself in a mirror right now.  All my fingers are currently occupied pointing at my own hypocrisy….I am too busy dealing with my own issues to judge you…I am just stating what I am seeing for myself…and for my church.

This is massively uncomfortable for us in North America to consider.  And…let’s be honest…it’s not like we are not doing anything.  We do bake sales.  We do fundraisers.  We aren’t doing nothing.  But are we addressing injustice to the capacity to which we are gifted and blessed?  No…I don’t think we are.  Sorry…I just think we can do more.

Here’s the thing…why wait for the church leaders to spotlight the Injustice of the Month….why wait for the church leaders to rally the troops and create a big community focused injustice service event?  Let me be clear…my issue isn’t with these things…it definitely isn’t with our strong and courageous church leaders….my issue is with us as a congregation.  What are we doing? For real? 

We’ve been conditioned to wait for our leaders to tell us what to do.  We have lost our sense of our own commissioning to look at the injustices Job speaks about in Job 24…and to decide, “I will not let another day go by without trying to see what I can do to right that injustice.”  We are a sleeping giant….actually…we are a comatose giant…we are so far from actually sleeping…that implies that at some point we will wake up. 

Wake up Church!!  The alarm is going off…you can push the snooze button…but before you do…listen to Job’s wail:

There are people out there getting by with murder—
   stealing and lying and cheating.
They rip off the poor
   and exploit the unfortunate,
Push the helpless into the ditch,
   bully the weak so that they fear for their lives.
The poor, like stray dogs and cats,
   scavenge for food in back alleys.
They sort through the garbage of the rich,
   eke out survival on handouts.
Homeless, they shiver through cold nights on the street;
   they’ve no place to lay their heads.
Exposed to the weather, wet and frozen,
   they huddle in makeshift shelters.
Nursing mothers have their babies snatched from them;
   the infants of the poor are kidnapped and sold.
They go about patched and threadbare;
   even the hard workers go hungry.
No matter how backbreaking their labor,
   they can never make ends meet.
People are dying right and left, groaning in torment.
   The wretched cry out for help
   and God does nothing, acts like nothing’s wrong!

Can you go back to sleep after that?  Can you honestly roll over and slip back into the coma after hearing that?

But let’s be VERY clear here….God is not acting like nothing is wrong, Dearest Friend, Job….we are…I am.

So….are we to feel defeated by this?  NO!!  We have every resource we need to jump into the cesspool of injustice and bring about change.  We have a call…we have gifts and abilities…we can do this, Church!!  What’s more….we are expected to do this!!

Wonder why we are joke to the world?  Because we are more known for our fat cat public faces who fall from grace for stealing from the poor than we are known for being a people who jump into the pit with the poor and help them out. 

What would it look like if our Church was a place where every week, the pastor can hardly preach because one after another of the congregants is jumping up with praise about what God is doing?  What would our Church look like if coming to church was about getting fed…and watered…and healed up from the wounds we sustain as we battle injustice?  Would we really have fights over the songs we sing…or how loud the drums were…or whether the pastor was sinning by not wearing a tie? 

What would our Church look like if people were confessing to each other and finding freedom from addictions and bondage?  What would our Church look like when the poor…and the dirty…the addicts…prostitutes…the homeless….the broken….the rich but spiritually poor…come and seek healing and salvation at the foot of the Cross?

What would YOU look like if you truly began to believe that you have been called to a grand adventure….a great battle exists and we are all involved.  I think one of the greatest gifts God has ever given us…given me…is a call to get involved.  My life has purpose…it has meaning.  I am not bored when I get this concept.  I am alive…I am also frequently discouraged…I am broken…I am aware of my own sinfulness…I am exuberantly full of joy and hope.  But I am not bored…I am not apathetic…I am not dead inside.

So, Dear Jobs in the world….I can’t promise I will always be in the space to always care about your injustice…but I can promise that I am open to God’s great call for me to become involved.  Dear, Jobs in the world…you are not alone…your need and the injustice of it is not invisible to me.  I see it.  Please pray that I have the courage to roll up my sleeves and get involved.

Okay…so…that was….too much.  Sorry…but as I watch my dearest Carla battle for her life…as the sands of the hourglass  become my enemy…I just don’t feel that time is a luxury I want to take advantage of any longer.  Carpe Diem, Dear Church.

Face on a Milk Carton–Have You Seen This God?

So, this blog entry is on Job chapters 23 and 24.  These chapters are one of Job’s speeches.   I guess ostensibly it could be said he is responding to Eliphaz’s previous rebuke.  But really, Job is just describing how he is feeling…what his current situation feels like.

He describes the darkness…the bitterness of the heavy hand of God.  He declares that if he could find God, he would plead his case…and God would find him righteous.  But, on a sigh almost, Job says that God is sovereign and will do whatever He wants to do with Job.  And that realization stirs up great fear of God for Job. 

Then, as Job considers the sovereignty of God, he realizes…that if God is truly sovereign, he also has the ability to stop evil in its tracks and yet He does not stop it.  Job realizes that there is no ultimate security in being evil.  There is an eventual consequence at the hand of Justice. 

So…here are my thoughts:

Thought of the Week:  Hidden or Unrecognizable?

I spent most of my pondering time on Chapter 23. I will spend some time pondering chapter 24…so that I don’t just ditch it in my obsession with chapter 23. This chapter, in particular made me think back on times in my life when I have felt completely cut off from God.  It is a horrible feeling…and as much as we like to think we can control this experience by playing The Game by the rules, I think sometimes that God is purposefully obscure and hidden.

I was driving in my car the other day, tuned into a local Christian radio station…and they had a little throw away that said basically…”if you feel like God is far away or not easy to see, it isn’t because he stepped back, it’s because you did.”  Something along those lines…simple…didactic….enraging!  I had to turn the station to something else because I am frustrated by bumper sticker theology these days.

To be clear…there have been many, many times that the distance and obscurity of God has been a result of my sin…but not every time.  And, if the punishment of our sin is that somehow we are distanced and cut off from relationship with God…where does Grace fit into this picture?  We all sin…all the time…daily.  So…does God do a little hokey pokey, jumping in and out of view and relationship with us in response to our sin?  This doesn’t seem in alignment with the “finishedness” of Grace.

But what I am contemplating are the times when it seems that God chooses to be hidden and lost….The times when He chooses to put His own face on the milk carton. 

A little while ago I read a biography of Mother Theresa…actually her personal letters written to her spiritual advisor ( how inspiring is it to know that even Mother Theresa had someone she sought out for advice and counsel?!).  In her letters it became clear that she had an intense relationship with God up to the time that her work in India began….from that point on, she never again felt the presence of God personally.  She saw Him in the work she did.  She was affirmed in her course directions and purpose thru third parties so she knew she was pleasing Him and serving Him where He wanted…but she never again felt His personal presence.  Honestly, I don’t know what to make of that.  But I do know, I have tried to rationalize her experience away….give explanations for why she “felt” like that…etc.  But every time I think about her story…I feel a chill…I think because I can’t quite dismiss it as impossible.

Do I think God would willingly cut Himself off from His child for forever…no, I cannot believe that or why are we even doing this life?  But, do I believe He would make a choice to be hidden and obscure from His child to motivate and accomplish His will in their life?  He has done so in my life…so I must concede it is possible….but the thought that the only way I would connect and see Him would be on our milk carton, the Bible…that I would not feel His presence…His admonishment, His affirmation, His joy and love for me…this seems too horrible to contemplate.

Yet Mother Theresa felt like this was her sacrifice of praise to God.  That she so desired His will and purpose…that she so desired to identify with His sufferings, that she willingly and graciously lived in a dull void of feeling His presence…this was her sacrifice to God.   Could I ever be so committed in obedience and passion for His plans and purposes for my life that I would even be willing to relinquish my demand for His felt presence in my life?  Would He ever ask someone for that sacrifice…or did the lovely Mother get it wrong somehow in her zeal to serve God?

I don’t know…but I do know for sure there are seasons where He seems to step into the shadows of obscurity.  Job said in verses 8 & 9 of chapter 23:

“But if I go to the east, he is not there;
   if I go to the west, I do not find him.
⁹ When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
   when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. “

This is the picture of a man who is not blindly accepting the obscure God.  He is purposefully and intentionally seeking Him…so why is He not being found?  Proverbs 8: 17 says, “I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.”  So why does it so often feel like a relationship with God increasingly becomes a game of Hide and Seek?

I wonder if it isn’t so much about God being hidden…but rather us not recognizing Him in a season of our life.

For example,  I know when I travel to other cultures and countries…I hate it.  I am a home body thru and thru…so there is always an element of homesickness when I travel .  But more so, I hate travelling because I always feel instantly cut off from God.  I feel like He never travels with me.  I know Biblically this isn’t true…but I feel like I can’t FEEL Him.  I have spent a lot of time pondering this…because the first couple times it happened…I thought it was an anomaly.  But as it continued to happen, I began to ponder and pray about what was going on.

That’s when I started to wonder if…in the infinitely creative mind of God…and given the context and parameters of His eternal Unchanging nature…does God have a Mexican personality?  Does He have a South Korean personality?  Does God speak with a Costa Rican accent?  What I mean is…is it that I can’t feel God’s presence…or is that I don’t recognize Him in His native South Korean….in His Mexican self.  Again…He is unchanging and eternal…meaning His great truths as revealed in Scripture…as manifest thru Christ…these truths don’t change country to country…eon to eon…He is…He Was…and He will always be Truth. 

What I have been wondering is…does my experience of Him in N. America…how I recognize His voice and handiwork change when I experience Him in other cultures?  Perhaps, I’ve been expecting Calgary God to go with me…and I have not been prepared and ready to receive an ethnic experience of God…another culture’s experience of this Eternal God.

It’s probably heresy…and I need to be burned.  Example aside…I do wonder if we often feel a lack of His presence because we are so narrowly recognizing His work and touch in the world and in our lives. Perhaps when He is most hidden and obscure…He is actually dressed in neon, waving flags and we just aren’t recognizing Him because we aren’t expecting  Him to look that way.

Little Taste of Sweetness to all the Bitter:

In Chapter 23, verse 10, Job says, “But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”  Don’t ever equate His seasons of obscurity with inactivity or neglect.  Like any good parent wanting to give their child freedom…he let’s us venture forth…but He ALWAYS has His eye on us!!

What do you think?  Is God’s face on milk Carton for you?  Have you always felt His presence?  Have you had times when He felt unrecognizable?

Bring on the Wooden Fish!!

 “Do you think it’s because he cares about your purity
   that he’s disciplining you, putting you on the spot?
Hardly! It’s because you’re a first-class moral failure,
   because there’s no end to your sins.”  Job Chapter 22: 4-5 (The Message)

This week I have been reading thru Job Chapter 22…this is Eli getting back into the ring to pound on Job for a round.  You know the old saying….with friends like these who needs anemones? Let’s just say, these fellas are not winning any friendship awards at first glance.  And yet…I can’t help but be impressed with their perseverance.  I have to believe that only people who really love their friend would be this persistent.  While their words and actions are making me cringe, their hearts might be in the right place…at least that is what I thought until I really began reading this chapter.  Eli takes the gloves off.  I know it is hard to believe that the gloves weren’t already off…but Eli takes his accusations to a whole new level.  He flat out begins accusing Job is evil, deplorable treatment of the poor and needy…and saying that he is getting what he deserves.  Ouch!  So…here are my thoughts for this chapter.

But before I dive in…here is a little anecdote from Lisa’s childhood…at my Grandma Stewart’s home, there lived a wooden cutting board in the shape of a fish. I hate fish today, in large part due to this cutting board.  See, when one of Grandma’s grandkids would get unruly…say…a little tom boy with curls, freckles and too much mischief whose name might rhyme with Wisa Dongo, say…let’s say she got a little uppity or gave in to the many opportunities to indulge her naughty and creative self…Grandma would walk over to the the fish…and pull it out from behind the toaster where the awful piscine lived.  She would ambled over…grab the chubby, dimpled hand…and calmly walk to the bedroom where the little curly haired, freckled tom boy’s bottom would become painfully acquainted with that blasted wooden trout.   That is the picture that kept coming to my mind as I read this chapter this week. 

Question of the Week –What is The Goal and Purpose of Discipline?

Here’s the deal…Eli says that God doesn’t care about our purity…that He disciplines us because we are so bad and need all our nastiness and unending crap dealt with.  You know what…that isn’t incorrect…but I am not sure what Eli is describing is “discipline”.  It sounds incomplete or too focused on punishment.  I know I made reference to this in an earlier blog posting back in June, I think…but I am really thinking more about what sets discipline apart from punishment. 

So, I looked up the words in the dictionary…and this is what it said for discipline:  punishment (hmmm), instruction, training that corrects, moulds and perfects moral character, self-control, control gained by enforcing obedience or order.  Yup…that is a not so tasty mouth full.  There definitely seems to be a healthy dose of punishment involved with discipline.  I can see how that played out in my own growing up years…let me tell you…I have known the achy butt of discipline!!

However, when Hebrews talks about discipline…the writer acknowledges that no discipline is pleasant at the time but painful but will ultimately help the person being disciplined to reap a fruitful character…and that God disciplines those He loves…because we are His kids.

Is the focus of discipline on how bad a kid I am….or on the potential I have to be a good kid?  I feel like just punishment is focused on how bad I am…like Eli is telling Job…but discipline is focused on my potential and calling from God.

Eli is basically telling Job, “Listen, Dude…God doesn’t care about your potential at all…does He care if you are pure?  God I disciplining you because, let’s face it, you suck as a human…and there is no end to your sin!”

Well…it is shocking that Job’s encouragement tank isn’t totally filled with those kind words!!  Sheesh!!!

See…I think this is where Eli is dead wrong…I think the nature and character that God has shown has revealed that His wrath and punishment have always been about restoring relationship with His creation.  You have to…have to…HAVE TO!!!!!!!!….see His punishment in proper context or God just ends up looking like a petty dilettante.  The goal of God’s punishment/discipline is always about Him restoring, redeeming, sanctifying, correcting, and conforming us into our created purpose…ultimately to give Him glory.

So, Eli, respectfully, your theology is suspect, Dude!  You ask, “Does God care about your purity that He disciplines you?”  Yes…Yes He does care!! 

Here I think discipline…to be full and complete needs a dose of punishment…but it can’t stop there to be discipline.  It also needs to have an attachment and motivation towards the end goal…which is my right standing and restored relationship with God…my conformation into the likeness of Christ…and my submission and surrender to the authoritative guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit.  The Bible talks a lot about fullness….that we can experience some things in measurements…and I think discipline might be one of those things that can be described as the “fullness of discipline”. 

I think the Grace of God is that He doesn’t stop at punishment…He is a “Fullness God”…so He graciously goes the extra step and has our redemption and restoration motivating His discipline. 

I think it might be that God has a wooden fish too. See, the tom-boy girl has grown up into a woman…but the mischief and talent for trouble still resides in her grown up heart.  So, every once in a while, God has to amble over and slowly take out the wooden fish…he calmly grabs my hand and we go for a walk and a talk.  That wooden fish still hurts…but I have been well trained by the impact those few lessons have taught me…and sadly, will continue to teach me.  But I always know in the end, I am experiencing the “Fullness of Discipline” at the hand of God…because I know He cares about my potential…He cares about my redemption and restoration.

So…Bring on the Fish!  I am just going to start wearing padded underwear!!

The Briar Patch

 

For the past two weeks I have been studying Job Chapter 21…and for my dyslexic friends, that is Boj Retpach 12. Don’t know why I decided to mock dyslexia there…it’s late at night and in my mind, there is nothing like a good dyslexic ekoj!

Today’s post is a little sharp and thorny…I haven’t been able to fully figure any of this out yet…so be aware this post is bit like stepping into the Briar Patch!! This chapter is Job’s response to his friends’ twisted theology. They believe that the wicked get their just rewards in the end…and as Job’s situation is particularly heinous, clearly, he must be heinously wicked.

 

Here is what Job says to his friends…and this is my twisted interpretation of Job’s speech:

 

“ Yo! You’ve all nattered long enough….just give me one ounce of respect and listen to me…once I’ve said my peace, by all means mock away! I am not even sure why you are all getting your knickers in a twist anyways. I am not complaining to you…I am making complaints straight to God. Look at me!! I am a disgusting, broken mess. Can you honestly say you don’t understand why I am angry with God? For real?! How can you say the wicked get what they deserve? I have seen many wicked people live long and happy lives in their total depravity…with a complete lack of regard for God. The righteous and the unrighteous face the same end…worm fodder, Baby. The wicked get a lovely funeral with all the stately trappings…but at the end of the day…they become worm food like everyone else. You think only the wicked suffer? Are you naïve or stupid? Talk to anyone who travels the world and they will tell you loads of tales of wicked people prospering because of their wickedness. You are all full of crappy theology!!”

 

Thought #1: The Eschatological Backlash

 

Definition of “Eschatology”: any system of doctrines concerning last, or final, matters, as death, the Judgment, the future state of the world and reality.

 

You know what has been standing out to me thru out every speech of Job’s friends? The dangers of throwing a game ending into the middle of game play. What do I mean? I mean that everything Job’s friends are saying is true…the wicked do ALWAYS get their just rewards. The problem…the wicked don’t always get their just rewards here on Earth. The issue isn’t with the veracity of their statements…the issue is with their timing.

 

There are many promises…and consequences in the Bible that are never guaranteed to be fulfilled in our lifetime…or even on earth at all. It is cold to use an eschatological outcome to rebuke the present day suffering of someone. Job’s friends are using an eschatological framework to judge the righteousness of Job. They are looking at the end result…the wicked will always pay the price for their wickedness…but they are assuming that that reality is supposed to play out in real time. So…looking thru those glasses…if someone is suffering and is tormented, clearly, they must be wicked and getting their comeuppance. The problem is…justice at the hand of God is only going to be fully measured out in the end of all things. Consequently, in our reality…lots of righteous and innocent people suffer and lots of wicked people prosper in their depravity….and just because someone is suffering greatly, this is not proof of their wickedness or sin.

 

We have to be careful about judging present reality against an eschatological promise…we might be mistaken in our understanding and end up hurting people who are already suffering.

 

Thought #2: Are Naïvety and Stupidity the Same Thing?

 

In The Message version of this chapter, Job states that his friends are naively assuming that the plans and lives of the wicked are dashed to pieces. It made me wonder if they were naïve or just plain stupid….which made me wonder if there is a difference between them. I see so many people who choose naivety about the sufferings of the world…because they would rather not know. They choose to be stupid because it doesn’t compel action or engagement. In my mind, there is no excuse for people to be surprised at suffering. God is holding us responsible for how we serve those who are suffering or are in need…we don`t get a special dispensation because we were unaware. We should be praying that God would make us aware of His presence and direction. The truth is, I am not called to save the world. I am called to be obedient to meet the needs God directs me to meet…and that is it. We can`t rely on willful ignorance to keep us safe and disengaged. There is so much going on in our world…not being aware of the needs in the world is just plain stupid.

 

That sounds way more harsh than I mean it to…it is late and I have few filters in place tonight! Beware!!

 

Thought #3: Mind Yo Own Bizness!!

 

Job’s friends are particularly concerned with defending the honour of God. In this chapter Job tells them to stuff it! He is fighting with God not them…so they should just support him while he engages with God. But they are intent, it would seem, on taking Job’s accusations against God, personally.

 

Here is the deal…God is a big boy…He can take care of himself. If someone is going to town on God…take a deep breath and try to discern if this is even your bizness! Consider how rude it would be insert yourself in an argument or tiff between a husband and wife you don’t know. If a friend is stepping into the ring with God, grab your sponge, your band-aids, your water bottle and your stool and stand outside the ring. Be ready to give support and encouragement…advice and counsel…but do not assume that God needs you to step into a boxing match that doesn’t have your name on it.

 

Well there you go…that’s all my poor little brain has to offer this time. Thanks to all of you who are sharing your thoughts…they have really helped me to understand some truths in a more profound and real way! Thank you!!!

 

Rebukes and Responses

Warning!!  This week’s blog uses the word “ass”…a lot… mostly in proper context.  Viewer discretion is advised!

This week I have been studying Job Chapter 20.  In this chapter, Zophar reacts to Job’s previous speech.  Talk about a Hamster wheel!

Reminds of a funny story from my childhood…when I was a little girl,  my family went to Edmonton to visit some relatives.  My Dad, thinking he could remember the way to our relative’s home, got us good and lost!  At one point,  my mom, to distract us grumpy and tired children, says, “Hey! Look!  That is The Brick where we bought our stereo!”  We continue to drive around aimlessly…because and this is indisputable fact…men do not stop to ask directions…at least my Dad didn’t….he believes he has some infallible inner compass that is never faulty. 

So….we drive around and around Edmonton in the dark.  All of the sudden my sister pipes up, “Hey!  Isn’t that The Brick where we bought our stereo?”  Sure enough….there it was.  Dad mumbled incoherently in his beard and continued his foray into idiocy. 

A half hour later, I pipe up from the back, “Hey!  Isn’t that The Brick where we….”  I didn’t get a chance to finish as my father yells, “Shut it!”  To this day, we laugh and laugh about that story.  And, when I happened to drive past that very Brick when I was in Edmonton in May…I began giggling to myself.  So funny! 

Anyways!!  Reading this chapter of Job reminded me of that story.  I feel like Job and his Peeps are circling the same Brick over and over and over again!  Haven’t we been here before?  Oy vey!

Thought This Week:  Being Taught by Asses

I found myself fixating on Zophar’s indignation because he perceived that Job was rebuking him.  It kind of makes me laugh that Zophar is just clueing in to the fact that Job has been rebuking his friends for their careless thoughtlessness.  Seriously, Dude?  Get a clue!!

But I think his response to being rebuked is similar to how I have responded to rebuke in my life.  I hear the rebuke…and my heart is troubled…my mind is whirling…and what do I do?  I attack!!!  Like some wounded animal backed into a corner, I come out with gloves off…throwing punches, kicking the nads…basically, I don’t fight fair…I go for the kill!  Ha!

I recognize this reaction in Zophar’s response.  As I was pondering this, letting it sit in my heart and mind…I realized there are two situations that have triggered this response in me:

1.       When the person rebuking me is right in what they are rebuking in me.  Oh man!  There is nothing worse than realizing that someone has pegged you bang on and called you on your stuff…and you have NO wiggle room.  You know it is right…and you feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit to accept, graciously, this deposit of truth and learn from it. 

I actually think it is easier to receive an unfair rebuke from someone.  Your righteous indignation forms a barrier and keeps warm against the chill of injustice.  If you know what someone is rebuking you for is not true, it is easier to shake it off.  Honest…think about it.  The injustice of a false rebuke sucks…no denying that!!  But you at least have your integrity and you know you are not in the wrong…that is something.

It is WAY worse to have someone rebuke you…especially if they are not kind about it….and to have the realization dawn on you that they are actually speaking the truth.  OUCH!  That is uncomfortable to sit in.   And in the past…not as often these days…I have been known to go into attack mode…like that will somehow make the situation better.  Now I just have to apologize for the initial thing and now for being a total idiot!  Save time, People….just accept the truth when it is spoken to you…even if it hurts!  It is WAY more efficient!!

 2.       When the person rebuking me is the LAST person who should be rebuking me about a particular issue.

This has been a lesson God and I have been working on for years!!!  I am an incredibly slow learner on this issue.  In fact, in general, I think I have spiritual learning disabilities!!! 

However, I find myself frequently in situations that are eerily similar…enough that I have needed to stop and wonder what God is trying to teach me.  And the situation is this…I have found myself at key points in my learning timeline where God has called someone to challenge, confront or rebuke me…and the person that is rebuking me is the WORST person EVER to be confronting me.  The person doing the confrontation or rebuke is ridiculously hypocritical on the issue to which they are addressing me…or they have abused their authority in our relationship and are using the rebuke to be cruel…or they are people whom I lead or shepherd or am in authority over in some capacity.

There was a situation when I was younger, there someone who is in a position of authority over me and had abused that authority horribly…scarring me and injuring me…and our situation came to a boiling point…I reacted badly…and the consequences that followed were horrible.  Imagine my surprise, that when I was broken and bleeding before the Lord, God’s response was a gentle question: “What if he is speaking the truth to you, Lisa?”  I knew that God was not happy with the way this person was dealing with his response…but I remember being totally blown away by the fact that God was using this Tool (I mean that in every capacity that fits!) to speak truth into my life.  I remember railing at God, “How could you?!  How can you use this person who has been such a source of wounding and abuse to me to speak your truth to me?!  How dare you?!  He has NO right to speak any truth to me?  How cruel can you be?!”

But as much as I tried to ignore Him…the Spirit’s gentle provocation nettled in my heart and mind.  Finally, I could not ignore the reality.  The things this person was rebuking me about…were true.  They were huge issues that were quickly becoming character flaws.  I realized in that season that I had a choice to make…learn from the Tool or risk allowing small fissures in my character to become massive, ministry destroying character flaws.

I also had one of the most hilarious conversations with God I have ever had.  As I railed against the injustice of This Person being the one to rebuke me…and how could God ever use THIS PERSON to speak His truth in my life…this thought entered my brain, “Lisa, I will use whatever I need to, to speak truth into your life.  Don’t forget, I have spoken thru asses before, and I will do it again!”  Oh my…Balaam’s ass…such a perfect moment to be reminded of that Old Testament story.  Instantly gave me great joy!!  HA!  I am not saying that was God…but how funny would it be if it was?! HA!!!!!!!!

In that season and in similar ones that have followed…I have realized that God has spoken more profound truths in my life thru asses than He ever has thru Angels or Saints.  Am I just a masochist?  I don’t think so…I think that the surprise of hearing truth spoken from these unlikely sources is so shocking…that I can’t ignore it.  If it was delivered by the perfect person, in my estimation…I wonder if I would take it as seriously.

So…what have I learned about being taught by the Asses?  That truth is truth…and I don’t want to miss any opportunity to be changed by God…even if it means being taught by the most unlikely people.  Cause you want to know something?  I have a pride issue…and describing it as an” issue” is like describing the Niagara Falls as a little trickle of water.  And for God to deal decisively with that issue I have had to learn to be teachable by whatever tool God wants to use…and what could be a more effective tool to speak to someone struggling with Pride than using something galling and unacceptable to that person’s ego?  Pretty effective, People!

And you know what?  Truth be told…none of us are perfect vessels for God’s truth.  All of us carry the scent of our own hypocrisy with us when we confront and rebuke.  We still need to do this…I would be lost without the people…both loved ones and Asses, that God uses to speak His character shaping truths.  However, to some extent…we are all Asses.  How is that for encouragement?  Ha!

So…all that to say…I see this principle in Zophar’s response.  He does not believe Job has a right to be rebuking anyone.  Remember…Job’s buddies’ theory is that he is a bad guy getting his just deserts!   Zophar is deeply troubled and offended because he sees Job as the Ass…who has NO right to be rebuking anything.  Zophar had a choice…and I have a choice in these situations…bend the knee and be taught by God…or in misplaced indignation go on full attack.

Let me clarify one thing…I am not saying that these people who God uses…who often speak the truth unkindly, cruelly and in a bullying way…I am not saying that God is happy or okay with the way they are doing it.  I am saying that God is committed to redeeming all things in creation…in me…and He will use other people’s ill intentions and actions to mold and shape me into the woman He wants me to be.  This I call the sharp edge of God’s sovereignty and redemption.  I am not trying to ask people to be at peace in abusive situations.  If you find yourself being spiritually, emotionally or physically abused….get out of that situation and find some help to deal with the effects of the abuse.

So….how about you?  Have you had similar situations?  Or should I be seeking counselling and intense psychological help for my apparently masochistic tendencies?!

The Fertile Ground of Darkness and the Flowering of Hope.

Hello, Everyone!  My apologies for such a long interval between postings.  I have been travelling and life got away from me.  But I am back!!  I have had many conversations over the last month that started from a discussion of this incredibly thought provoking book of the Bible.  And it continually amazes me how timely and personal this story is to all people.  It’s been very informative and thought provoking for me.

But…onward to chapter 19 we head.  Job Chapter 19 is Job’s response to Bildad.  Job’s response is this, “Honestly?  You’re going to continue rebuking me.  Look at me?!!  I am a pathetic, abandoned man with only the skin on his decrepit body left as his own.  But you know what?  I know my Redeemer exists…and I await him because I know I will see him.  Careful, Boys about this crazy sword of judgement you wield…it will inevitably come around and slay you in return.”

Thought #1:  The Boardroom of Darkness

Job 19: 8 “He (God) has blocked my way so I cannot pass.  He has shrouded my paths in darkness.”

I know in our Christian culture that darkness is synonymous with evil.  God is light and in Him there is no darkness.  I get it.  But I am also confused because I see God using darkness as a very effective tool in His grand redemptive work.  There are many critical lessons I have learned and taken deep into my spirit that could not have been learned outside of a journey into the darkness to meet with God. 

I wonder if this is God’s redemption at work.  The evil ones would to use darkness to confuse, torment and confound.   But God has redeemed darkness and formed it into an incredibly useful clarifying agent.  

As I was pondering this, I was doing my daily time with God and came across this verse in Exodus that blew me away. Exodus 20:21″ The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.”  I was deeply moved by this picture.  I feel this sums up what I love about Job…about Moses…about anyone who audaciously engages in true relationship with the Lion of Judah.  Where others shrink away and choose safety, there are some brave, courageous and to some degree crazy people who choose to move forward into the darkness because they somehow know that God will be found in the thick darkness.

I have experienced this call.  I love that it is described as thick darkness…I have experienced this thick and choking darkness…and in these places I have found God.  It’s almost like a secret boardroom…and I am called to walk into it to meet with God on His terms.  It’s hard to imagine that a Being of radiant light could ever exist in such a dark place…but He is there…ready to meet…ready to speak His truth and wisdom.  Strangely, I have found that He often uses the darkness to clarify things for me.  Like a blind person, my spirit and soul are more attuned to the rhythms of His grace when I cannot use my faulty and deceptive sight to guide me.

But you know what the issue is?  You never know for sure what waits for you in the Boardroom.  You are always guaranteed of His presence…but never fully assured of Him fixing your problems and making everything work out the way you want them.  That makes venturing into the darkness a real choice of faith.

This is the picture I have in my mind.  Imagine walking into a Lion’s den because there is a grand treasure that awaits you…you know the Lion is there…it is pitch black…yet you step into danger because you desire the treasure and it is worth the risk.  Imagine walking…step by step…you can hear the breathing of the Lion…in, out, in, out…big swooshes of breath…the closer you get the more you can hear the deep rumblings of the Lion’s grand inner growl….you begin to feel the breath of the Lion upon your face.  You know the Lion is not safe but your call is more important than your fears.

I think when the Moses and Jobs approach the mouth of darkness and feel the compulsion to move into the darkness to meet with God…it is the vastness of the character of God that unnerves them.  His justice…His Sovereignty…His love…His will…His power…His otherness…that makes this Lion God a wild sort…an unpredictable sort…One not to be taken lightly.

For me, I venture forth carefully…in some ways, totally aware that I will be consumed by the Lion.  His ways and truth are higher and all-consuming than anything else in this world.  Like the Borg, resistance is futile!  But you know what is amazing about the darkness…you feel the breath of God in fresh and exhilarating ways because you are more tuned into His presence.  And…with every breath of the Lion comes life and inspiration.

So, the next time you stand at the door of the Opaque Boardroom….take a deep breath and venture into the thick darkness…you will be consumed by something grander than you…and you will never regret it.

Thought #2:  Yet I know!!!

You know what I love about my friend, Job…indeed he has become a dearest friend since beginning this journey into this story.  I absolutely love the faith of this man.  In this chapter he describes the consumption of his life by the Lion God.  He sounds lost and hopeless…and after this litany of the crimes of God, he makes this audacious statement of faith: “Yet I know that my Redeemer lives and that in the end He will stand upon the earth.  And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God!  I will see Him with my own eyes—I, and not another.  How my heart yearns within me!” (19: 25-27)

Wow…that knocks me on my knees.  This man sees God’s sovereignty and is living in the outworking of it…and yet he still believes in his Redeemer.  He can still boldly proclaim his right to see God face to face and more so…he WANTS to see God.  That is intense faith…it moves me and inspires me.

Job isn’t saying he hopes that his Redeemer is lives….he isn’t saying he hopes that he will see God with his own eyes.  Job KNOWS.  Chapter 19 “God has stripped me of my honor and removed the crown from my head.  He tears me down on every side until I am gone; he uproots my hope like a tree.  His anger burns against me, he counts me among his enemies…God has aliented my brothers from me…my friends have forgotten me…my breath is loathsome to my wife…even little boys scorn me…I am nothing but skin and bones.  I have escaped with only the skin of my teeth.”  Even after this description of what Job feels God has done to him…that he can still believe in God as Redeemer and Messiah….that is wild to me.

Clearly, our hopes have a stronger life than what we currently feel in these moments.  Hope is a sturdy little flower! 

Thought #3: Judgment is More of a Boomerang than a Sword

Chapter 19: 29  “You should fear the sword yourselves.  For wrath will bring punishment by the sword, and then you will know that there is judgment.”

I felt that Job said this well.  We would all do well to remember that a judgmental spirit has a way of coming around making the judger the judged.  Judgment cuts like a sword but creeps back and strikes like a boomerang.  It is easy to judge the strong words of people in the midst of suffering…to get offended…to become frustrated with their complaints and accusations against God but we need to remember that we could find ourselves in need of comfort and understanding and find ourselves struck down by the boomerang consequences of our own harsh judgment.

So?  What do you think?  Have you received a summoning to the Dark Boardroom?  Have you encountered the Lion God?  Are you living in the cutting of the sword or the consequential pain of the boomerang?  I love hearing from you and your comments are helping others…and me…grow and understand these deep truths of life and God.  Share your thoughts!

Sensible: Virtue or Vice?

 

 

This week I was reading and meditating on Job chapter 18. This is an account of Bildad’s response to Job in chapters 16 and 17. Basically Bildad tells Job, “Dude, cut it out! Be sensible! And while you are at it, can you stop talking to us like we are stupid please? You know very well that tragedy and horror follow evil men.” The implied message in the last chapters has been that Job must be sinning because only this level of tragedy happens to bad people.

 

I have been thinking a lot this week about Bill’s call to Job to just “Be sensible!” I don’t know if you have, but I have sure heard that phrase tossed at me thru out the course of my life. I tend to tread on the wrong side of the Sensible Equator!

 

I think our world…particularly our white-picket, Starbucksified, upper middle-class, gentrified Christian culture’s sense of peace is stabilized by the reign of King Sensible. But in general, our entire culture has made a virtue of Sensible.

 

For an example, we can turn to my girl, Jane Austen who wrote a great book called “Sense and Sensibility”. The book compares and contrasts two sisters’ experiences of falling in love. The sensible sister, Elinore is consistently elevated and eventually is raised up as the paragon of virtue–Sensible won the cage fight against sensibility.

 

But I feel the question needs to be asked… is being sensible a virtue? Are we called by God to be sensible? Let’s be honest, the sensible choices tend to lead to the safest and most predictable outcomes…I mean, it would be a lot easier on Job if he would just surrender to his friends, go thru the motions of repentance and get back into everyone’s good graces. Why continue to fight?

 

Bottom line–it is NOT sensible to fight with God. You know from the outset that you are not going to win…that God is perfect and holy and without fault…that He is omnipotent and you are a weakling. You know all this from the beginning bell of your boxing match. So the sensible thing would be to surrender to the inevitable and save yourself the cuts, bruises, broken bones….dislocated hips (Hollah, Jacob!). I think there are many people who would echo Bill’s admonishment to “Be sensible!”.

 

BUT…in my experience so far of the Bible…of God and how He has worked in my life…I am not sure “Sensible” is necessarily a factor in how God moves and makes decisions. Here are some examples from the Bible that I have been thinking about:

 

Exhibit A: Garden of Evil and Creation of Free Will

 

Was it sensible for God to even create creatures that could self-determine their fate…to place them in close proximity to the vehicle of their downfall and then, actually point out said vehicle? Nope…I would say, not sensible.

 

A sensible God would have placed Adam and Eve in Boise, Idaho, as far from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil as possible. A sensible God would not have pointed out the tree…and then kept vigilant watch over them to redirect them in case they came too close.

 

Exhibit B: The Stammering Mess Becomes the Great Emancipator

 

Was it sensible for God to call Moses to be the saviour of the enslaved Israelites? A hot-tempered, pampered Prince in exile for murder. Oh, and did we mention that he is also has a speech impediment and years of tending stinky sheep have left him feeling discouraged, insecure and not worthy? Sensible choice would have been Aaron…the eventual spokesperson for Moses. Aaron lived with Israelites…he was one of them…he spoke eloquently….he had a flair for the dramatic…he knew how to throw a good party ( please refer to the story of the Golden Calf for further proof of this). Moses? He was a whiny…short tempered, rock slamming, commandment shattering, stammering weenie.

 

Exhibit C: The Skinny, Pretty Boy Who Likes to Sing Becomes King

 

Was it sensible for God to turn away all of David’s older, more capable, more battle savvy, more leadership oriented brothers and instead choose David as Israel’s next King? Nope!

 

Further…was it sensible for God to not follow the line of succession and choose Jonathan to reign after Saul? Jonathan was a kind, smart, committed, faithful man. He also had the bonus of being royal blood!

 

God instead chooses a brave but hopelessly starry-eyed and artistic boy with no leadership experience to be King.

 

Exhibit D: The Virgin Shall Give Birth

 

Was it sensible for God to call a teenage girl…a virgin living in a patriarchal culture known for stoning women caught in sexual immorality, to be the one to give birth and raise the Son of God? No!! Not sensible at all!

 

Exhibit E: The Village People

 

Was it sensible for God to call simple fisherman and the hated tax collectors to be His first disciples and future church leaders? NO!

 

Final Exhibit: The Christ is Crucified

 

Was it a sensible plan for the Messiah to hand Himself willingly over to the authorities He knew were going to kill Him? Was it a sensible plan to have the Messiah die in a tragic and horrific way? No…not sensible at all.

 

So….it begs the question…what the heck?!!!

 

1 Corinthians 1:26-28

 

26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are.

 

I think God continues to use insensible people and choices because it always points the glory back to Him. If the insensible choice becomes Israel’s greatest King or Israel’s great emancipator, it is clearly because of God and God alone.

 

Also…in all those exhibits where God chose the lowly, the unqualified or the insensible choice, He ultimately knew the heart of the people. The insensible choices are the often the correct ones. Right doesn’t necessarily equal sensible. And sensible is not an indicator of faithfulness to God.

 

So, while our world validates the sensible people, it ultimately enjoys the fruit of progress wrought from insensible dreamers who innovate and create and explore new things. And for certain, God’s story is propelled by the insensible choices He made. Thank goodness…because I am a deeply insensible girl…and I know there is a place in God’s story for me!

 

Final Thought–it is DEEPLY horrifying for me to realize I disagree with Jane Austen!!!  I am going into therapy!!!